The Bachelor Weeks 3 & 4: Bored to Tears

Friends, I must apologize for bailing on you last week, but I’m struggling…struggling to find anything to write about this season because Ben is ridiculously boring.

Even now with two weeks under our belts, I don’t have much to say, despite ABC’s best efforts to add their touches of dramatic flair, such as:

The truly most dramatic rose ceremony ever! Last week we had one girl sobbing, one girl passing out (Erika, our ice capades costume donning law student/pageant queen),

...and a rejected girl from a previous season putting her heart on the line only to be rejected a second time.

It was Shawntel, the funeral home director from Brad Womack's season. You don't remember her? Oh, well, maybe this picture of her hometown date with Brad will jog your memory.

Yeah, Brad didn't like it...and either did Ben. Shawntel was uber confident that she and Brad had developed a "connection" before he started filming. She busted in on a rose ceremony and asked to be considered for a rose, but alas, Ben told her he didn't think it would be fair to the other girls. Excuses, excuses...all's fair in love and war!


To try to keep things entertaing, ABC has also thrown in some unusual exits from the show. Last week, Brittney (the gal who brought her grandma to the first rose ceremony) received an invitation to a one-on-one date...and rejected it. She opted to pack her bags and hop in that limo as soon as she saw a "connection" coming. That's a Bachelor first! But honestly, it shouldn't be the last. Brittney is the only gal smart enough to realize that Ben isn't worth her time.

We also had an interesting exit this week, when beauty queen Samantha spent her one-on-one time with Ben complaining that she had only been selected for group dates. What I'm sure she intended to say was, "I really like you and, while I'm having a blast on these groups dates, I'd love to get to know you better. I look forward to the potential for a one-on-one date so we can chat more in the future." Instead she came across as whiney and complainy and Ben didn't take it well. Actually, he obviously was looking for a way to get rid of this girl and jumped at the opportunity, telling her off and asking her to leave immediately. He was an ass. Samantha, you're better off! Go talk to Brittney and have her explain why Ben's not worth your tears.

So, why else am I so anti-Ben? While I may have swooned for a moment over his wine-maker gig, he's just not living up to the hype. He spends all of his time smooching the ladies, not only because they are beautiful, but because he is the worst conversationalist in the history of the world. I thought maybe I could blame it on the ladies, but no, that can't be. He has so many awkward-silence-filled lame-o conversations in each episode ("This is great." "Yeah, real great." "Super great." "It's great to be here.") and I realized the common denominator is Ben.

But maybe these girls are onto something. Maybe they've got dating figured out. Maybe I should start being dull on my dates. Perhaps I'm too chatty and interesting. I should just stare at my date and tell him how handsome he is and how "great" it is to be there and he'll give me a smooch and a rose. I'll try that and get back to you! Now I just need a date....

Wanna' know why else I don't like Ben? Well, my friend found a little music video that Ben published a few years ago. And it's icky. It's called "Cream Dreams" and here's a picture of Ben starring in his nasty low budget music video.

ABC is also making great use of its favorite attention grabber...the swimwear contest...in order to keep viewers from switching over to watch Gossip Girl instead (and I was tempted!). Obviously, every date needs to involve a hottub, but they went a little far with this doosie of a date...snow skiing down the streets of San Francisco. This really looked like a disaster (or an ice burn) waiting to happen, but somehow even the worst of skiers managed to make it through unscathed.

So, while Ben disappoints, ABC is relying on some brewing cat fights to keep the audience interested. But I'm already more interested in next season, which apparently will star Emily Maynard. Months have passed since Emily and Brad Womack called it quits and she's ready to find love.

We'll see what Ben and the gals have in store for us next week. They'll be heading to Puerto Rico and I'm praying things getting a little more dramatic. If nothing else, this show provides us with some great vacation ideas! I already have plans in the works to head to Napa and Park City (where they were this week).

Adios amigos,
Beth