A Night of Firsts

This week, the eighteen ladies joined Ben in his hometown of Sonoma for “A Night of Firsts” full of criers (3) and kisses (4).

First Date:

Cute as a button southerner, Kasey, got the first one-on-one date with Ben…a romantic stroll through the town of Sonoma. They visited little shops, they dined together, they paraded down the center of the street while Kasey twirled the baton. She claimed she did it when she was little. Semi true. She twirled the baton when she was little...

and in high school and in college for the University of Tennessee. My friend suggested I make a joke about Kasey's skill in handling long, hard, poles, but she's so cute, I can't do it. Well, I kinda' did.

Anyway, to complete the perfect first date, Kasey got the...





First Kiss:

The first real kiss went to Kasey the majorette, but a number of other Bachelorettes checked first kiss off of their list this week too, including Jennifer Rabbit (sounds like Jessica and she has red hair), Blakeley the “VIP cocktail waitress” and Courtney the model. Sidenote on Courtney the model (who isn't as nice as she pretends to Ben). She used to date the hot gardener who Gabby Solice had an affair with on the first season of Desperate Housewives. See proof.

First Group Date:

This date was kind of shitty, but like all dates, the girls had to squeal with delight as Ben announced that they would be putting on a play written by a bunch of third-graders. They spent their entire day auditioning and preparing for a performance of the play for the townsfolk of Sonoma. Bad date. And this comes from a girl who believes her true calling in life is the stage. Mom…”Imaginating Dramatics”…not gonna’ let that lost opportunity go.

First Swimming Pool “Chicken Fight”:
This is a big event of every Bachelor and Bachelorette season. The girls hop into their teenie weenie bikinis while fighting on each others' shoulders in the pool. Meanwhile, the Bachelor has the opportunity to check out all of the merchandise.

First Hot Tub Kiss:

This only happened because Ben’s conversation with Jennifer Rabbit the red head, was so dull that he had to end it as soon as possible with a kiss. Here's what they talked about...


Ben: Did you have a good time today?
Jennifer Rabbit: Yeah, I had a good time today.
Ben: I’m glad you had a good time today
Jennifer Rabbit: Yeah, I’m glad I had a good time today
Ben: I’m glad you’re glad you had a good time today.

Kiss her and make it stop!

First Ben "Betrayal":

Five minutes after Ben was avoiding conversation with Jennifer Rabbit with a game of tonsil hockey in the hot tub, he played the same game with Blakeley in the swimming pool. Jennifer Rabbit saw it all unfold, which sent her into a fit of tears, questioning their connection (my favorite over-used Bachelor/Bachelorette word). No worries, Jennifer Rabbit made it through for another round of craziness.

First Group Date Rose:
Apparently Blakely was the better kisser ‘cause she went home with the group date rose. Ben awarded the prize by saying that the rose went to the girl who “...really owned the day and the night (I bet!) and I felt made the most of her time with me in conversation." By the way, the only conversation that was aired between the two of them was about how well endowed she is.

First Repeat Rose Ceremony Breakdown:

I’m not sure why Jenna was crying…at least before she got kicked off. And you should have seen the tears when she got kicked off. “Are you kidding me right now? I’m shocked! I’m mortified.”

Jenna should have been crying because she made a complete ass of herself during her one-on-one time with Ben. Once again, she strung just a whole bunch of words together that aren’t really supposed to go together in that order. And I quote, this is what she said…

"If anything like I I am really thankful that you gave me another chance after the first night. And…I, I might wanna’ be honest a little bit. I just feel like ya know…(long pause)…I feel like I’m a guy in how I act and so like being around girls all the time, this is very abnormal for me. And what people saaaay…. And I don’t want you to think that I’m not, ‘cause I might appear as if I’m not (long pause)…it’s I mean it’s hard there’s only you, so it’s like waiting around for you and it’s totally worth it, but I just…I’m not like a girl, if that makes any sense."

It doesn't. Make any. Sense. All Ben said was, “I appreciate that.” But what he was thinking was, “Ooook, well, I’m looking for a girl, so, if that makes any sense, you’re out.” And then he was rescued by another Bachelorette, who whisked him away for normal conversation.

Needless to say, Jenna didn't make it past this rose ceremony. Neither did a girl I don't think I had seen before who had blonde hair on top and black hair underneath. It was a look. Not a good look. Just a look.

Next week the girls are heading a little south to San Francisco, where they will apparently be joined by Ben's ex-girlfriend. Yay!

Until next week,
Beth