This season has left me with a conflicted soul. While I appreciated the drama and wish Ali well, we now know that she made her mind up about Roberto the second he stepped out of the limo. So why of all the bachelors did she have to string sweet Chris along? The guy with the most fragile heart of the bunch?
Well, that’s the way the cookie crumbles. Considering her luck with Frank and “Rated R,” I suppose she could have uncovered some chink in the Roberto chain along the way. But she didn’t and before Ali could live happily ever after with her Latin Lova’ she needed to jump through one more ABC hoop and introduce Chris to her family…allowing him to daydream about being a part of it. Like Chris, they’re from the East coast and they’re all a bunch of teachers. He bonded with Ali’s siblings and told them about his mom. For nothin’!
The day after introducing Roberto and Chris to her family Ali romped around Bora Bora with Roberto. My favorite part of the date was when they were jet skiing and just “happened” upon a swarm of sting rays. Yeah, sure. Totally unplanned. I had a totally unplanned encounter with a slew of stingrays in Grand Cayman. I mean, unplanned except for the fact that I was on a tour boat and I jumped into the water with buckets of squid. But other than that, they just “happened” to be there. This was pre-Steve Irwin, of course. Else I wouldn’t have dove five feet under the water to chase stingrays, trying to get their attention with a fist full of squid held out in front of me. And just as my friends and I were discussing our skepticism we caught Roberto squid-handed! Oh you Bachelor producers…we’re on to you.
A little while later the two shared the “most romantic and magical experience” of Ali’s life when it started pouring on their beach picnic and they kissed in the ocean…in the rain. My friends weren’t so sure after the stingray hoax. They referenced the Truman Show. How do we reaaaaally know it was raining? We imagined a hose and a giant fan just off-screen.
After their beach romping the pair went back to Ali’s hut and romped around some more. I’m pretty sure Ali woke up the next morning saying “wuh whoa”…something clearly happened in that hut that made her realize it just wouldn’t be acceptable to go on a date with Chris afterwards. Hmmm. I’ll let you draw your own conclusions.
So, it was off to dump Chris. And, following Frank’s lead, Ali came knocking on the door for their date that never was. Chris spent hours primping his hair into the perfect 2 inch spike and after all that, she dumped him before they could set foot in the Bora Bora sand. Ali truly did do the right thing by not letting Chris attend the final rose ceremony. Other girls have allowed their runner-up to go through a big long song and dance proposal before kicking him to the curb. Chris appreciated how Ali handled the situation and thanked her, proving what an “amazing” guy he is.
After Ali left Chris broken-hearted he saw a beautiful rainbow in the sky. Rainbows represent his mother watching over him and it gave him great peace. She was definitely looking out for him. I think she was saying, “You dodged a bullet with that one, my son.”
This last episode really took the Bachelorette wind out of my sails. I do believe that Ali made the right choice and that she and Roberto potentially have a “connection” that might last. But I so desperately wanted happiness for Chris. I think Chris also wanted happiness for Chris and that he would have fallen in love with the Bachelorette…any Bachelorette. But Chris is so great that I’m not worried about him finding the right gal and honestly, I feel a little better for myself just knowing there are guys like Chris out there. But most of all, I’m crossing my fingers that he becomes the next Bachelor and I am considering ordering P90x so I can get ready for my hot tub scenes.
And now we must bid adieu to helicopter rides, hot bods, tears, the guarding and protecting of hearts, competition, and romance. Or must we? Let’s see what “The Bachelor Pad” has in store for us, shall we? According to Chris Harrison, it’s going to be amazing. According to me, Mondays are still complete and all is right with the reality world.
