I was watching “Khloe & Lamar” (Khloe of Kardashian fame) and she mentioned that growing up, her father asked everyone to share the pit and peak of their day during family dinner. So, given the highs and lows of this episode, I thought we could borrow that approach for this post, highlighting Ashley’s pits and peaks of week 3.
Peak: Ask and ye shall receive. Disappointed that he didn’t get picked for the dancing date in Vegas last week, Ben told Ashley to pick him the next time dancing would be involved, as he likes to dance. So, she invited him on a one-on-one date to a dance studio, where she taught him a dance. Later, at a park, Ashley asked Ben to do the dance…in public…without music. He went along with it and then all of a sudden, they were in the midst of a flash mob. Ben did a great job and Ashely congratulated him with the first leg wraparound of the season. If you aren’t familiar with a flash mob, here is my favorite example. It’s when a large group of people get together to do something silly all at the same time, stunning/confusing/entertaining innocent bystanders. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwMj3PJDxuo
Pit: While Ben’s Flash Mob date was a peak. The second part of the date = pit. And more specifically, it was kissing Ben that was Ashley’s pit. Turns out that Ben’s idea of kissing is pouting his lips (which were super-glued shut) and then pressing them up to Ashley’s pursed lips for an extended period of time. It was kind of like when you play that game in elementary school where you “kiss” someone by high-fiving and each kissing the back of your hand. Look, I’m kissing but without the coodies. Oooooh. From now on, Ben shall be referred to as "Bad Kiss Ben." See proof below.
Peak: The masked man finally decided to stop being crazy and show Ashley his face. Bout time! There was a lot of anticipation and a monologue about why he did this and how he’s excited to reveal his face. Off with the mask already! And then…
Pit: Actually seeing the masked man’s face. I couldn’t wait to see Ashley’s reaction. Stone-faced, she really didn’t have one. And right then, we all knew it was over for the masked man.
Pit: The group date this week was an accident waiting to happen…a trip to a comedy club to roast Ashley. While most of the jokes had nothing to do with Ashley, when they did, the guys made fun of her “Almost AA” chest. She took that like a champ…she knows her killer abs make up for it. But then William threw out a doosie of a “joke”. Thinking that the other guys didn’t do a proper roast, William “joked” that the guys really wanted the Bachelorette to be Emily. Ashley’s fear than the men would be disappointed that she wasn’t Emily or Chantal or Shawntel was her biggest reservation about doing this show. William really tapped into Ashley’s biggest insecurity and as soon as the “comedy” show was over, she ran off crying.
Pit: No one cared that she was crying!!! These idiot guys saw Williams say something REALLY mean to Ashley and no one ran to comfort her. Not even the offending bachelor! In fact, it was Bentley, the biggest jerk on the planet, who finally went to talk to her. So, that’s not saying a lot for the rest of men! And later that evening, Ashley expressed to the group how hurt she was. Again, no reassurance from the group. Finally William took her aside to NOT apologize. He said, “There’s nothing I can do to make this right. I hurt someone I care about a lot.” Ummm, here’s an idea, William. Say, “I’m sorry! I think you’re the greatest!” So, it turns out William from Columbus is just like Jim Tressel. He’s just posing as a nice guy. My hometown is not lookin’ so good right now.
It was Ryan the solar panel company owner who finally took the bait and told Ashley what she needed to hear…that’s she’s beautiful and that he is so excited that she is the bachelorette. That was enough to win Ryan the rose of the evening.
Pit: As expected, Bentley broke Ashley’s heart this week. Telling her a story about how he misses his daughter, he said he couldn’t take it anymore and had to leave. Meanwhile he’s telling the camera how he’s not attracted to her, even calling her an “ugly duckling,” which she clearly, is not. After a drawn out conversation, Bentley continued to lead Ashley on by saying, “dot dot dot,” implying perhaps something could be between them in the future. Chris Harrison tried to tell Ashley to forget Bentley, that if there was any part of him that cared for her, he would have stayed.
My message to Chris Harrison…you care more about ratings than this girl’s heart. Chris Harrison is not a friend to any Bachelor / Bachelorette. He should never have allowed Bentley to stay on the show when he was clearly stating to the cameras that he was just there to play games with Ashley’s heart.
And my message to Ashley: Michelle Money (as in Crazy Mommy Hairdresser Michelle from last season) warned you about Bentley. We know Michelle is crazy, so I can see why you would have ignored her warning. However, what was fact is that Michelle is friends with Bentley’s ex wife. So, clearly Bentley’s ex wife is crazy…because she is friends with super classy Michelle. And if Bentley’s ex wife is crazy, well, he must be, too…because he married her. Moral of the story…you wouldn’t want him even if he wanted you. You’re being rejected by a crazy person, which doesn’t count. Of course, this is coming from a girl who still can’t get over a crazy jerk, but ya know, easier said than done.
With that, I really hope that there are more peaks in Ashley’s future on this show. I think Ryan the solar panel guy has potential. And I'll take him if Ashley doesn't want him! There’s also the dentist with veneers. And while Ames is a mega-nerd, he’s a mega-nerd who would treat her right.
There were some additional peaks and pits in the rest of Bachelor/Bachelorette-land this week that I’d like to share before we part ways.
Pit: Brad and Emily have officially broken up. Apparently, Brad dumped Ashley over the phone. I’ll try to get my hands on an interview with Emily for the facts, but I guess she has already turned her sparkler over to ABC.
Mega Peak: It’s official…there will be a Bachelor Pad 2! And I’m not done yet. Guess who’s going to be on the show! Crazy Mommy Hairdresser Michelle. AND Vienna! AND Jerky Jake Pavelka! Woohoo! This is going to be fabulous. And it gets even more fabulous because Casey, who as I have mentioned has decided to “guard and protect” Vienna’s heart, is also going to be on the show. Vienna + Jake + Casey = mega drama.
But before we delight in that hot mess, let’s find some love for Ashley!
Until next week,
Beth
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