That sounds weird, but I’m talking about punctuation.
I was not talking about punctuation when, in elementary school, I was watching an episode of the Cosby show and Vanessa Huxtable got her period. Mrs. Huxtable was really excited; Vanessa was a woman…and I was confused. So I went upstairs to ask my parents what a period was. My father responded, “It’s the dot at the end of a sentence.” I replied, “I know, I know, but I think there’s another kind because Vanessa Huxtable just ‘got’ hers.” So my mom had me collect my little sister and meet her in the kitchen for a chat. I went back to the 4th grade the next day feeling oh so educated (and grossed out).
Well, while teeny tiny Ashley looks like she's still waiting to get her first period, she did finally get a period (rather than a “dot dot dot,” also known as an ellipsis) from Bentley.
Bentley may not know what to call a “dot dot dot,” but at least he knows there are only three “dot dot dots.” Among my many pet peeves is when people think there are like……a……lot………….more….dots……….involved……in…..an…ellipsis…..especially…in..a…powerpoint….presentation…….at…..work. Three…dots. Unless it’s at the end of a sentence, in which case, you get to use one more, the period.
So, let’s recount how Ashley finally got her closure…and her period.
After arriving in Hong Kong, Chris Harrison came to Ashley’s room to tell her that Bentley was in the hotel and wanted to talk to her.
“We’ve reached out to Bentley and he wants to talk to you today. And in fact, he’s in this hotel…right…now.”
Wrong! Bentley did NOT want to talk to her. ABC begged Bentley to come to Hong Kong and offered him first class airfare and a fancy hotel suite in order to make good TV.
Ashley asked, “Are you serious?” Chris responded, “Yes, I’m not gonna’ mess with you.”
Chris Harrison, shame on you! You ARE messing with her. A phone call with Bentley would have been sufficient and you just led her to believe that Bentley wants to talk to her!
So Ashley pulled herself together and went to Bentley’s room, hoping he wanted her back. When she knocked, he answered, “Who is it?” And I could hear him grinning through the door. When he opened the door, he told her she looked “adorable” and gave her a hug. Then, and this is embarrassing, Ashley looked up, begging for a kiss. She got one. Ugh. Then they went to sit down and she flirtatiously wiped her lipstick from his mouth. That’s what Bentley wanted…your grubby hands on his jerk face lips.
Now I need to just play back this conversation for you, in Ashley and Bentley’s own words.
Ashley: Do you come here often?
Bentley: Yeah, no. I thought about calling, but that would be too easy. So, I thought I’d fly…around the world…to see ya. (Leading her on…he’s gonna’ ask to come back!)
Ashley: Well, I’m glad you’re here.
(Awkward conversation about bug bites.)
Ashley: Gosh I don’t even know where to begin.
Bentley: Start at the start.
Ashley: Well, after you left, I had a really hard time? (Note: This is not a question, but to be true to Ashley’s speech patterns, I need to make it one.)
Bentley: Did you have fun, though?
Ashley: Noooo.
Bentley: Sorry. (Like hell he is!)
Ashley: So, yeah, I think you leaving was really hard…for me.
(Bentley places hand on Ashley’s knee.)
Bentley: For me too. (BS)
(Ashley says a bunch more about how hard it was and how she feels guilty regarding the other guys.)
Bentley: Selfishly, I appreciate that. You know, that’s kinda’ reaffirmation about us being on the same page I think? (Also not a question AND you are NOT on the same page or even reading the same book.) So, you can understand where, if we have something good going, it’s hard to just walk away and say…. (Gestures in a way that says, “goodbye.”)
(Continued BS about not knowing what the future holds for them and that Ashley should come to Salt Lake if it doesn’t work out with the other guys.)
Bentley: I guess if I could do it all over again…for your sake and, and ya know, that’s why I’m here now is, ya know, to say that I couldn’t believe that I went home and missed this, missed you, missed being here. That was real and that was very shocking to me. (HUH?)
(Ashley talks about knowing they met for a reason)
Bentley: I think you know where I’m at, an an, I think you know where I’m coming from a little bit. (Nope! Not at all!) And I think you’re here for a reason, and you’re here for a purpose, and I think that knowing I’m home it doesn’t look good for me and you, and I would implore you to do all that you can to see what you have here I guess.
Ashley: So this is our period.
(Ashley finally tells Bentley off. And it was awesome. You go girl!)
Bentley: I think that with where you are at in this whole journey and process, that maybe we should call it a period.
Ashley: So you came all the way here and you could have just talked to me on the phone?
Bentley: I wanted to see you. (Translation: I wanted to see you cry. And I wanted to see me on TV.)
Ashley: Why? Just wanted a vacay?
(All the while, Bentley is smirking.)
Ashley: You should have called.
(Lots of silence and smirking.)
Ashley: That’s it.
Bentley: (whispers) Ok. (‘Cause he’s so broken up he can’t speak?)
Ashley left and washed that man right out of her hair. Feeling refreshed and free of that a-hole, she moved forward with her other dates. I have to admit, I haven’t completely washed my own Bentley (and the similarities and uncanny!!!) out of my hair. You know what the difference is? I don’t have seven guys lined up to take me out!
So, maybe I need to have a “Wash ‘Bentley’ out of my hair” event. I just need someone to collect and screen applications for men and I’ll do my own little elimination game. And I won’t even make my dates box each other (recall Ames’ concussion last week?) or compete at Dragon Boat racing (which she did in this episode).
Back to Ashley. Things were looking up for her for a while and the rest of the show included:
• Her first date and kiss with Lucas, the Texan
• A super awkward, icky kiss with Ames in an elevator. I’m trapped!
• A romantic date with cutie J.P.
Then Ashley made the mistake of sharing her newfound relief over getting closure with Bentley with the men before the rose ceremony. She told them about Bentley’s visit and that she has finally moved on.
She thought she was being honest; that they would join in her excitement for the future. They didn’t.
Mickey actually threw a fit and left the show, right then and there. Fortunately, no big loss. That simply saved Ashley from having to NOT give him a rose anyway. Blake the dentist also had a hissy fit and made Ashley feel badly. When she came back with a teary-eyed apology, Blake felt sorry, as he should. But he was too dumb relay his regret to Ashley, and therefore, he was sent home.
With six remaining guys, we’re getting dangerously close to hometown and overnight dates. I’m crossing my fingers that Ashley truly is over Bentley and that she can take advantage of the rest of her time as The Bachelorette. And I’m crossing my toes that Bentley shows up for “The men tell all” so that the audience can pelt him with tomatoes.
Until next week!
Bachelorette Beth
I don't think she's over Bentley that fast. I do think she is desperate for a guy, so if someone proposes I totally think she will say yes, all the while having little thoughts of Bentley. A girl doesn't just go from longing for a guy to totally being over him just because he says "I think we're on the same page" (what??) and "yes, this is a period."
ReplyDeleteI just feel badly for her that she is going to look like America's biggest idiot when she watches this show (someone should tell her not to watch). She constantly talked about how she was such a good judge of character and Bentley was such a genuine guy despite what Michelle said, and then the camera goes right to Bentley who said hurtful, harsh things about her. Why are girls so gullible?? We've all been there, but thank God ours isn't captured on national TV. Then again, we also won't get ABC to pay for a HUGE engagement ring and million dollar wedding...