Travels this season started in Sin City, where “Brad” (a.k.a. ABC) put the girls up in a fancy schmancy penthouse suite at the Aria hotel. Unfortunately, if you’re not on a date, you’re trapped in said suite, left only to look longingly out the floor-to-ceiling windows at the debauchery below.
Shawntel with an S, the funeral home director, got the first 1:1 date with Brad. He took her to an extremely high-end mall and told her to pick out whatever she wanted. He managed to pick the one girl who had never heard of any of the stores. What is this “Gucci” and “Prada” stuff? Fortunately, with the help of some price tags, she figured it out by the time they made their way to Fendi and made out like a bandit! But even so, Shawntel seemed to hold herself back (a little), actually trying dresses on to find the right one.
That’s when my friend Jordan asked, “Why even try things on? I would just start throwin’ it in my bag. I’m just gonna’ ebay it anyway.” Good point, Jordan. Shawntel caught on and left the mall unable to carry all of her bags. I could see the trouble brewing from a mile away…pretty sure the other girls would go bonkers when they saw her loot. Here was my favorite part of the big reveal…
Crazy Michelle: (looking at the shopping bags) How much money is sitting right here?
Shawntel: The bag is like 5,000 dollars.
Crazy Michelle: (death stare)
My friend, Jordan: During her trial this is the exact moment they’ll look to to prove it was premeditated murder.
Shawntel left the girls to stew in their juices while she got ready for part two of her date…in a Fendi dress and flip flops. She wasn’t kidding, she is a small town girl. Brad took Shawntel to dinner on the top of a building and she expressed to the camera her concern over sharing about her profession: funeral home director. But instead of waiting for Brad to ask, “What do you do?” she said, “So, there’s something you should know about me…” and continued to tell him about her job, her passion. That certainly was not necessary. Also not necessary? The following choice words she decided to share, while eating: embalming, leakage, orifices. Somehow Brad managed to keep his dinner down and Shawntel managed to take home a rose.
Next to the group date…and a race track with the girls, including Emily, who’s deceased fiancé was a racecar driver. Damn you ABC! Not only did you put sweet Emily in a small plane when her fiancé died in a plane, but you took her to a Vegas racetrack…the exact track where he crashed and ended his racing career. Emily put her helmet on, hopped in the car, shed a few tears took a spin around the track. While Brad feels intimidated by Emily and worries he won’t stack up against her ex (he won’t), Emily went ultimately took home a rose.
Emily just has to sit back and be loved. Some other girls are a little more forward, including Crazy Michelle who tries to seduce Brad every chance she gets. But it was Chantal who accidentally dropped the L word when she said, “It makes me love you even more. Not love. Like.” I think Brad took it to mean more than it should have. As my friend, Jordan, said, “I love everyone when I’m drunk!”
The Ashleys (dentist and nanny), who had become best buddies, got the first two-on-one date of the season. ”Two girls, one rose, one stays, one goes.” And again, because ABC has run out of creative date ides, just like Ali’s date with Roberto, they went to a show to perform. This time it was Cirque du Soleil’s Elvis show. Unlike Ali’s date with Roberto, Brad got to select which girl to take on the date, and kicked the other one to the curb before the opening act. In the end it was Nanny Ashley who wasn’t marriage material, and Dentist Ashley who got another chance to be normal.
Nanny Ashley was a sweet, pretty girl, but came across as a little young to marry. Note to Nanny Ashley, if you’re trying to prove that you’re mature, marriage material…don’t wear a silly band with your cocktail dress. After a phone call to his therapist, Brad was ready for the cocktail party and ended up getting rid of two girls we haven’t discussed yet this season. Shocker. But now that he has fewer girls pining after him, thing are bound to get emotional.
Next week, Costa Rica. See you there!
Beth
Reading your blog is more entertaining than watching the actual episode!
ReplyDeleteI love this post. Obviously, because I am quoted in it and that makes me feel like a celebrity. Also, the episode (as is every episode) is just ridiculous, while makes me smile :)
ReplyDelete