This week on the Bachelorette…
Chris Harrison announced that the bachelors will be traveling around the world to fall in love with Ali. I fell into the campsite chair in my half empty house. Actually, the built-in cup holder is the perfect place for a remote control. I may never get a sofa.
The tour de Ali began with a trip to New York City, where Ali got some pampering from In Style Magazine and the guys checked into their fancy suite.
Koo Koo Kasey won the first one-one-one date of the day. Ali and her fake fear of flying were “so thrilled” to go in a helicopter. But this ride was a little different than the one she had with Roberto last week. With Roberto by her side, Ali played up the fear of flying as he held her telling her everything would be ok. Well, with Kasey she leaned up against the glass window of the helicopter, just hoping it would bust open. Kasey didn’t notice…he is certain that Ali is a “beautiful butterfly ready for love”, and then busted out in song. And I quote…
“When I was flying in the helicopter over this amazing city, I looked to my life and never saw something so pretty. At the end of toonniiiight I’m not just your average Joe, but I hope in my hindsight I see and find a rose.” Ali: Crickets. Kasey: “Yeah, that’s pretty intense stuff.” Beth: “HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. "
The “Night at the Museum” date continued as they flirted and ran through the museum of natural history. Well, maybe Ali was running away from Kasey. I couldn’t tell, but Kasey definitely sees a future with Ali. “Her and I are pretty much meant to be together.” No, Kasey, it’s “she and I” and no, I’m pretty certain you are not meant to be together. I was even more certain by the end of the episode (stay tuned). When asked why he thinks the two are a good fit, Kasey responded with: “You’re all that I ever wanted because you make me happy.” Deep. Then he told her, “I choose you. I hope that someday you can choose me.” Don’t hold your breath, Kasey.
Just then, creepy background music came on singing “I choooooooose you." I was so startled I had to rewind and made Tracy (my new roommate and Bachelorette viewing buddy) listen to it. It wasn’t there the second time we watched and I got “Night at the Museum” creeped out until I realized that the creepy singing had come from Tracy. Oh well, it was kinda’ fun to be freaked out for a second.
Again, Ali asked Kasey, “How do you know that someone’s right for you?” Kasey, who has told Ali no fewer than five times that he is there to “guard and protect (her) heart” responded with, “If they want to guard and protect my heart for me too.” Then once again he broke out in song. “The night that I first saw you, I was staring through that glass, and I knew at that moment, that you and I would last. On the beach in California, you made me start to believe, and now in NYC and it’s just you and me. And tonight you’ve got a rose, and I don’t want to feel its thorns, and if you choose me Ali I’ll forever be yours.” He’s really gifted. Too bad Ali didn’t think so. She said nothing and finally asked him to stop with the songs because they don’t sound “genuine”. What she wanted to say is, “You’re a weirdo. I'm so glad the camera men are here to protect me.”
As a result of the songs, Ali did not give Kasey a rose. But she didn’t ask him to leave either. She asked him to be normal and try again later. He was really hurt and unfortunately walked away with the wrong impression…that he needed to step it up and prove to Ali just how serious he is about her.
Next up was a group date to visit the set of the Lion King on Broadway. And so begins my crazy jealousy. The director of the Lion King held an audition for the guys. In matching spandex shorts and v-neck t-shirts, they tried to learn a dance routine and then sang “Can You Feel the Love Tonight”. They thought they were just going to win a date with Ali, but there was actually a short stint on Broadway (and an intimate moment with Ali) on the line. While Jesse was clearly the best vocal talent, it was Roberto who won. Clearly, Ali had a hand in this. The couple then went to learn their routine for that evening’s performance of the Lion King while the other guys watched.
Cruel and unusual punishment ensued while the guys had to watch Ali and Roberto, clad in spandex, perform a routine while hanging on wires from the ceiling. The boys were jealous of Roberto and I was longing for my Broadway career that didn’t come to be. While most of the guys stewed, Kirk proved to be a good guy by toasting to Ali and Roberto after the show. Good move because Ali invited Kirk to walk her to her room and tuck her in. I am officially moving to Green Bay, Wisconsin to find Kirk.
Chris L. had the next one-on-one date and unfortunately, Ali was sick. But she invited him to her room and he came over with flowers and soup. Chris’s great sense of humor and chicken noodle soup made Ali all better. Thank goodness because she almost missed taking Chris to a private rooftop Joshua Radin performance. Ali, let’s talk priorities. You think you’re Joshua’s biggest fan? Paaaa-lease. That's my job. If I had no arms, no legs and was on my deathbed, I would still find a way to roll myself to that performance.
While Ali and Chris were bonding, the desperate guys had some time to do some crazy stuff. Kasey who was taken aback when Ali said that the singing and protecting of hearts didn’t sound genuine thought, “Gee what would be reaaaaally sincere and not at all creepy? I think I’ll go get a tattoo and prove to her how serious I am about her.” So, Kasey went to a tattoo parlor and had a shield and a rose (probably the size of a deck of cards) tattooed on his wrist. I wonder what his future wife is going to think about that. Well, upon sharing the news with the other guys in the house, they were all seemingly quite supportive, but secretly delighted as Kasey would be sure to be nixed as soon as Ali finds out.
In the end, despite having penned and performed a song for Ali that evening, the Weatherman was sent home along with Jesse, the sweet guy who had never owned a suit before this show. And Koo Koo Kasey squeaked by as he didn’t have time to show Ali his tat.
Next week…Iceland! Happy viewing!
Beth
Chris Harrison announced that the bachelors will be traveling around the world to fall in love with Ali. I fell into the campsite chair in my half empty house. Actually, the built-in cup holder is the perfect place for a remote control. I may never get a sofa.
The tour de Ali began with a trip to New York City, where Ali got some pampering from In Style Magazine and the guys checked into their fancy suite.
Koo Koo Kasey won the first one-one-one date of the day. Ali and her fake fear of flying were “so thrilled” to go in a helicopter. But this ride was a little different than the one she had with Roberto last week. With Roberto by her side, Ali played up the fear of flying as he held her telling her everything would be ok. Well, with Kasey she leaned up against the glass window of the helicopter, just hoping it would bust open. Kasey didn’t notice…he is certain that Ali is a “beautiful butterfly ready for love”, and then busted out in song. And I quote…
“When I was flying in the helicopter over this amazing city, I looked to my life and never saw something so pretty. At the end of toonniiiight I’m not just your average Joe, but I hope in my hindsight I see and find a rose.” Ali: Crickets. Kasey: “Yeah, that’s pretty intense stuff.” Beth: “HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. "
The “Night at the Museum” date continued as they flirted and ran through the museum of natural history. Well, maybe Ali was running away from Kasey. I couldn’t tell, but Kasey definitely sees a future with Ali. “Her and I are pretty much meant to be together.” No, Kasey, it’s “she and I” and no, I’m pretty certain you are not meant to be together. I was even more certain by the end of the episode (stay tuned). When asked why he thinks the two are a good fit, Kasey responded with: “You’re all that I ever wanted because you make me happy.” Deep. Then he told her, “I choose you. I hope that someday you can choose me.” Don’t hold your breath, Kasey.
Just then, creepy background music came on singing “I choooooooose you." I was so startled I had to rewind and made Tracy (my new roommate and Bachelorette viewing buddy) listen to it. It wasn’t there the second time we watched and I got “Night at the Museum” creeped out until I realized that the creepy singing had come from Tracy. Oh well, it was kinda’ fun to be freaked out for a second.
Again, Ali asked Kasey, “How do you know that someone’s right for you?” Kasey, who has told Ali no fewer than five times that he is there to “guard and protect (her) heart” responded with, “If they want to guard and protect my heart for me too.” Then once again he broke out in song. “The night that I first saw you, I was staring through that glass, and I knew at that moment, that you and I would last. On the beach in California, you made me start to believe, and now in NYC and it’s just you and me. And tonight you’ve got a rose, and I don’t want to feel its thorns, and if you choose me Ali I’ll forever be yours.” He’s really gifted. Too bad Ali didn’t think so. She said nothing and finally asked him to stop with the songs because they don’t sound “genuine”. What she wanted to say is, “You’re a weirdo. I'm so glad the camera men are here to protect me.”
As a result of the songs, Ali did not give Kasey a rose. But she didn’t ask him to leave either. She asked him to be normal and try again later. He was really hurt and unfortunately walked away with the wrong impression…that he needed to step it up and prove to Ali just how serious he is about her.
Next up was a group date to visit the set of the Lion King on Broadway. And so begins my crazy jealousy. The director of the Lion King held an audition for the guys. In matching spandex shorts and v-neck t-shirts, they tried to learn a dance routine and then sang “Can You Feel the Love Tonight”. They thought they were just going to win a date with Ali, but there was actually a short stint on Broadway (and an intimate moment with Ali) on the line. While Jesse was clearly the best vocal talent, it was Roberto who won. Clearly, Ali had a hand in this. The couple then went to learn their routine for that evening’s performance of the Lion King while the other guys watched.
Cruel and unusual punishment ensued while the guys had to watch Ali and Roberto, clad in spandex, perform a routine while hanging on wires from the ceiling. The boys were jealous of Roberto and I was longing for my Broadway career that didn’t come to be. While most of the guys stewed, Kirk proved to be a good guy by toasting to Ali and Roberto after the show. Good move because Ali invited Kirk to walk her to her room and tuck her in. I am officially moving to Green Bay, Wisconsin to find Kirk.
Chris L. had the next one-on-one date and unfortunately, Ali was sick. But she invited him to her room and he came over with flowers and soup. Chris’s great sense of humor and chicken noodle soup made Ali all better. Thank goodness because she almost missed taking Chris to a private rooftop Joshua Radin performance. Ali, let’s talk priorities. You think you’re Joshua’s biggest fan? Paaaa-lease. That's my job. If I had no arms, no legs and was on my deathbed, I would still find a way to roll myself to that performance.
While Ali and Chris were bonding, the desperate guys had some time to do some crazy stuff. Kasey who was taken aback when Ali said that the singing and protecting of hearts didn’t sound genuine thought, “Gee what would be reaaaaally sincere and not at all creepy? I think I’ll go get a tattoo and prove to her how serious I am about her.” So, Kasey went to a tattoo parlor and had a shield and a rose (probably the size of a deck of cards) tattooed on his wrist. I wonder what his future wife is going to think about that. Well, upon sharing the news with the other guys in the house, they were all seemingly quite supportive, but secretly delighted as Kasey would be sure to be nixed as soon as Ali finds out.
In the end, despite having penned and performed a song for Ali that evening, the Weatherman was sent home along with Jesse, the sweet guy who had never owned a suit before this show. And Koo Koo Kasey squeaked by as he didn’t have time to show Ali his tat.
Next week…Iceland! Happy viewing!
Beth
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