This week on The Bachelor…the remaining three ladies took a once-in-a-lifetime trip to South Africa. Basically this trip was reason enough for me to want to try out for the show. Brad was excited about seeing the animals, and being on his overnight dates.
The first gal Brad explored…I mean, explored with…was Chantal with a C. She looked super cute in her green safari shirt and denim shorts. Brad? Kinda’ looked ridiculous in his Indiana Jones hat. The two went on a jeep safari ride and saw some absolutely amazing animals, including an entire pride of lions, a giraffe, a herd of elephants, and a dazzle of zebra. For lunch they hopped out of the jeep and had a picnic on a rock with a rhino wading nearby. I’m not sure how comfortable I would have felt in that situation, but of course there were probably 50 park rangers surrounding them just off camera.
The duo got cleaned up after their safari and had dinner…all leading to the fantasy suite. Needless to say, she accepted saying, “What happens in the fantasy suite, stays in the fantasy suite.” The “fantasy suite” turned out to be a tree house. Man, the last few seasons of The Bachelor have turned out to be a heck of a travel series. The tree house looked lovely, but my concern was, where’s the bathroom? There must have been one, right?
After taking his walk of shame from the tree house in the morning, Brad met up with Emily by picking her up on an elephant. She too looked adorable in her safari gear, right down to her shit kickers. On their elephant ride they rode past a group of elephants playing in a pond. And let me tell ya, the elephant in captivity was pissed! After their ride, Brad and Emily had a sweet conversation about Emily’s daughter, Brad assuring her that he’s ready to become a father to a five-year-old. I sure wish I thought he deserved her.
For dinner that evening Emily put on her best sparkly mini-skirt. Not really South Africa safari attire, but she looked hot. As soon as they sat down, Brad got super nervous. And rightfully so because she turned him down for the fantasy suite on account of being a good role model to her daughter. Then she talked herself into going, making sure to lay down the law and demand that he keep in PG. Fortunately, Brad was smart enough to know that Emily wouldn’t be a tree house kind of girl and he took her to a real fantasy suite, where she told him that she is falling in love with him. And then he said that he’s falling in love with her too! That’s totally breaking Bachelor rules, and I love it.
Ashley the dentist was last up to bat and I was certain that she would look like a whiney-poo compared to Emily. But she brought it…and some reeeeeally short Daisy Dukes on her date. Phsyc. Brad took her to a helicopter and she absolutely freaked out like a big baby. Whatever, I’ve seen this show before, she just wanted to cling to him. The helicopter ride and accompanying dramatic music was pretty spectacular and a trip to South Africa is now officially on my bucket list. After their ride they had a picnic and Brad asked her where she would like to live. The right answer is A: Austin. The wrong answer is B: Southern Maine. She picked B. Then he told her that she reminds him of himself when he was in his twenties. So, he definitely thinks their lives won’t mesh and she’s too young…which I’ve known since I first heard her talk like a 16-year-old…like a mile-a-minute and everything’s like a question with lots of like, and like, like???? Ashley’s going home. I thought he was actually going to send her home over dinner, but he couldn’t walk away before taking his chances in the fantasy suite. They shared a couple kisses that did not look like a fantasy. And I thought he was going to send her home there.
Next there was an interview with Chris Harrison, which I fast-forwarded through. You don’t mind, do you? Didn’t’ think so. On to the rose ceremony, where Brad nervously pulled Ashley away to talk about why their relationship derailed so terribly. Brad said goodbye to Ashley there. I thought that was a very sweet gesture and thought Ashley should have seen it coming. She didn’t and left surprised. But when he asked her “Why are you acting that way?” I wanted to smack him. You just dumped her you dummy!
So now we're down to just two very different ladies: Chantal with a C and Emily. Next time those two girls meet the Womack clan in Cape Town, South Africa. But before we get to see that episode, we have to sit through "The Girls Tell All."
Talk to ya in two weeks!
Beth
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