This week on the Bachelorette…
Ali pouted her way through one more rose ceremony and Ty was sent home with an achy breaky heart.
Ali made her decision about Ty last week when she uncovered that he doesn’t know girls can be good at math and science. This week Ali was a major party pooper and didn’t leave me with much to write about other than that Portugal looks really pretty and I might put it on my travel wish list.
Ali had a one-on-one date with Roberto. They ran around Lisbon kissing and taking silly pictures and then danced in the street together. Basically they had a “Hey, Portugal. Look at us. We’re annoying Americans!” date. But to Ali it was a “fairytale” and Roberto promised Ali a lifetime of moments like that one if she keeps him around. If she doesn’t want those moments (but I think she does), I’ll take ‘em!
Next came a two-on-one date with Frank and Ty. And surprise, surprise, they went on another helicopter ride. After the ride the group climbed up to an old castle where they had dinner while Ali was in a ridiculous funk. She had some time with Ty, where she quizzed him again about the traditional gender roles he seems to expect in a relationship. Warming! Warning!
Ty reminds me of a guy I never met on E-Harmony. It’s true…fours years ago I signed up for about 32 minutes. The way this dating sites works is, based on a ridiculously thorough questionnaire, E-Harmony tells you who you’re compatible with and then you read your potential suitor’s profile. After jumping through some hoops you email back and forth until you decide if you want to meet in real life. Well, I never made it past the “read their profile” stage. Like Ali, I consider myself to be independent and career-minded and God-willing, if I ever get to be a mommy, I expect I’ll keep working. So, when E-Harmony recommended a fella’ like Ty who was looking for a woman to take care of who would stay home and do sweet things like put love notes in his lunch box (dead serious…love notes in the lunch box), they lost complete credibility with me and I didn’t give my Ty a rose either.
Next Ali had some special time with Frank where, in preparation for next week’s hometown dates, he told her that he lives with his parents. He’s 30 if you were wondering. But when he got teary over the situation he won some XOXO’s before they sat in a tree making out.
The next day Ali took Kirk around Lisbon in a horse-drawn carriage to a palace and it was Kirk who felt he was in the fairytale. While Ali was all about her date with Roberto, she was a little black rain cloud with Kirk, which made him worry and rightfully so. I just don’t see this relationship lasting past the hometown dates, especially after Kirk’s dad introduces Ali to all of the Bambis displayed on his basement walls.
On Chris L’s date Ali admitted that she sees him as more of a friend and that the relationship is progressing slowly. Bummer. Ali, I thought you wanted to laugh with someone for the rest of your life. If so, Chris L is your man! Roberto may be hot, but he hasn’t made a single joke all season while Chris L keeps you in stitches! Maybe the relationship isn’t progressing physically because all Ali asks Chris about is his dead mother and making out after those discussions just doesn’t seem appropriate. But Chris L won some bonus points by giving Ali a present that he’d been hanging onto, a silver bracelet that a family friend made. I waaaaant one…a bracelet…and a Chris.
So that was the show. Not to exciting, eh?
But wait. There’s more!
Jake and Vienna, who broke up last week, joined Chris Harrison for an interview so they could make boobs of themselves. I’m going to keep it brief, but you really need to watch it and Jake needs to look up the definition of “undermine”.
Jake came across as an asexual and cold-hearted jerk face who was more upset about Vienna selling her story to a magazine than the actual breakup. Turns out the relationship went south starting a month after the final rose when Jake became emotionally and physically detached from Vienna before “emotional abuse” and anger issues surfaced. I can see that. I don’t think any Bachelor viewer would be surprised to hear that Jake is a little bit crazy on the inside. If he was afraid that Vienna’s magazine interview made him look bad (which is why his panties are in a pinch), he certainly didn’t make anything better with this interview. Vienna’s anguish was so believable I honestly felt horrible for her and am solidly on Team Vienna.
See you on the hometown dates!
Beth
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